Anyone who’s been vegan for a minute has surely heard endless excuses from people on why they just can’t go vegan themselves. I wanted to write a piece responding to these, so I reached out on Twitter to see the most common I-just-can’t-go-vegan excuses people have heard over the years.

Most of the tweets I received were so ridiculous I decided to highlight them below (and respond) because I can’t believe people actually say some of this shit. Take a look.

1. I hate vegetables.

Yes, several people actually heard that. Look, vegetables are healthy no doubt, but no one is saying that once you go vegan your diet has to consist of kale alone. There is so much more to veganism than vegetables. There’s pasta and chocolate and French fries and vodka! Your version of veganism can look like whatever you want it to. You don’t have to eat just vegetables – though you probably should include some.

2. I can’t give up bacon/cheese.

This one was by far the excuse people most tweeted at me. I know, I know – people LOVE their bacon and cheese. Here’s the question I have though: Do these people know where these things come from? Do they understand the suffering required to produce them? Would they be willing to give vegan bacon/cheese a chance? Just try a product or two? Vegan cheese is truly in its golden age and we could be looking at a Beyond Bacon product imminently. Finally, if people just can’t won’t give up their bacon/cheese, what about everything else? It’s better to do something than nothing. How about giving up all other animals products besides bacon and cheese?

3. I need to eat meat for protein.

No, you don’t. You can get all the protein you need and more from a vegan diet. It’s not 1995 anymore and no one is buying this bullshit. Thank you, next.

4. Cows would go extinct if we stop eating meat.

Oh gurl, so now you care about extinction? If you actually did care, you wouldn’t be eating animal products. Why? Because animal agriculture is one of the leading causes of climate change and climate change is going to cause countless animals to go extinct. And no, cows won’t go extinct – though less of them will be bred and killed on factory farms. Trust me, that’s a good thing.

5. The Bible says it’s OK to eat animals.

The Bible was written thousands of years ago before climate change and factory farms were a thing. I’m not exactly sure what it says in there cause I’m not religious, but I do know that the Bible has been used to defend some pretty horrendous shit: homophobia, the subjugation of women, slavery – just to name a few. Sorry, not buying it.

6. Avocados and almonds are bad for the environment.

LOLOLOL. OK, sit down. First of all, yes avocados and almonds are more environmentally intensive to farm than other foods, but let’s be real, they pale in comparison to the water and energy needed to produce animal foods. Yes, it takes over 70 gallons of water to produce one avocado, but did you know it takes over 600 gallons of water to produce just one burger – and even more to produce a single gallon of milk. If you’re that concerned, don’t eat avocados – though that would be very sad.

7. There are too few restaurant choices.

Have you been out to dinner lately? Because vegan food is literally everywhere. Want proof? Check out these 15 chain restaurants that now have vegan meat on their menu. It’s a whole new world.

8. Lions eat meat.

Are you a lion? No. So don’t make me listen to this trash.

9. Vegetables also feel pain.

**Deep breaths** OK, for the last time, there is simply no scientific evidence to support this. None. Vegetables and other plants have no brain or central nervous system and therefore cannot experience pain. And if you were really were concerned about plant pain you wouldn’t be eating meat anyway. It takes a lot more plants to make a steak or a pork chop than it does to make hummus so…

10. I went vegan once for a week and I had no energy.

What were you eating? No, seriously. A vegan diet tends to be less calorie-dense so you might need to eat more food. That might be why you didn’t feel as energetic. Most people, however, feel like they have more energy after going vegan. I know I did.

11. It’s un-American.

Say what?? Some of the most successful and amazing vegan companies like Tofurky, Beyond Meat, and Miyoko’s are the result of American entrepreneurialism. All these companies also produce their vegan meat and dairy alternatives right here in the United States with American labor. So, eat Beyond Burgers all the day long – it’s patriotic, dammit!

12. Eating vegan is too expensive.

No, it’s not. Yes, veganism (like anything) can be expensive if all you eat is specialty/processed products and shop only at Whole Foods, but it doesn’t have to be. Some of the least expensive items at the supermarket are vegan – think chickpeas, lentils, pasta, rice, etc. For veggies, you can get amazing deals at farmers markets or co-ops – or you can buy frozen too. Veganism is not more expensive, you just might have to actually cook and change where you shop.

13. I had vegan food once and it was gross.

Peanut butter and jelly is gross? Pasta with marinara sauce is gross? French fries are gross? Gurl, check yourself. OK, so you ate a vegetable dish or a vegan meat once and you didn’t like it. Are you actually going to say that every meal you ever had that contained meat was good? Exactly.

14. Fake meat creeps me out.

So, don’t eat it. But honestly, if meat fashioned from things like soy and wheat and peas creep you out more than meat made from blood and flesh and cruelty, I think you need to rethink your definition of creepy.

15. But what if you were on a deserted island…

Lord, give me the strength. Am I on a deserted island? Am I?? And I’d eat coconuts. Gurl, bye.